Hawaii has some good porn…
...And I ain’t talking bout cable either.
The last time I was in Oahu, back in February, I was staying at the Radisson in a room on the 53rd floor facing the city of Waikiki (vice the beach). I was sitting in my room watching Adult Swim on cartoon network when I hear a knock on the door. I open the door and in burst one of my coworkers striding quickly towards my balcony, saying “You got to see this!”. I follow him out and he tells me to look to my right. On the right was a hotel, not as nice as the Radisson. I look and see… a hotel. I shrug thinking nothing of it until my coworker tells me to take a closer look, which I do.
It took a while to sink in, but finally it did. There in open view with curtains wide open was a topless chick riding this dude hard. I couldn’t believe it. I look slightly away to a couple windows to the left and see a similar sight; only the couple was in a missionary position. I say under my breathe, “You got to be kidding me.” To which my buddy says, I know, there are at least 7 or 8 live action playboy stations going on over there. I take a scan of the windows and yep, there were 7 to 8 live action pornos going down in the hotel next to us, all with lights turned on and curtains wide open.
The next day my buddy and I decide to do some research and find out that the hotel next the Radisson is infamous for being the unofficial HQ for the Wendy girls. The Wendy girls are the residential hookers in Waikiki. We gave them the “Wendy girls” nickname because they seemed to hang out soliciting their services next to the Wendy’s on one of the side streets in Waikiki. Apparently the hotel next to the Radisson rents rooms by the hour.
Now why am I telling this story one might be asking. Well, apparently inadvertent voyeurism seems to follow me in this State. Fast forward several months. I am set up in a nice set of condos. Most Condos on Kauai are duplexes and are built very close together, so close that you can see into other places pretty easily. I bet you all can tell where this is going… Dear Penthouse Letters… so there I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed when something caught my eye in the mirror. The mirror in the upstairs bathroom that I was using has a great angle showing the window to the bedroom of the condo next to me.
In the window was this hot brunette in this skimpy spaghetti strap dress. I’m talking nice view here which was about to get a bit better (and a bit explicit). Two seconds later her man comes from behind and pulls off the dress. Nice to know my female neighbor doesn’t wear a bra nor panties under her dresses. Now, this is all happening withier with curtians wide open and their lights completely on. Anyways, a detailed description of what I saw next would earn this blog an “NC-17” rating. I’ll leave y’all with two words: policeman style. The best was looking down to the street and seeing a shocked woman who was probably just getting back from dinner or something). There she was covering the eyes of a young kid and directing him away from the view. Hilarious, that had to be the funniest thing I’ve seen since arriving here.
Haystack Dictionary Entry #6
Policeman Style – n. A sexual position were the chick gets banged from behind while standing with her hands pressed against the wall and legs spread as if she were getting patted down by a cop.
Now, it should be noted that Kauai is famous for several things, the first being known as the Garden Isle. Kauai is the island where Jurassic Park and the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark were filmed. Kauai also has a lot of chickens and stray cats. But, what Kauai is best known for is bring a perfectly romantic island where newlywed couples come to spend their honeymoons. Which is to say: if you see an attractive woman on this island, chances are you will also see a ring on her finger. I guess you can also say that there is little need for the playboy channel.
The last time I was in Oahu, back in February, I was staying at the Radisson in a room on the 53rd floor facing the city of Waikiki (vice the beach). I was sitting in my room watching Adult Swim on cartoon network when I hear a knock on the door. I open the door and in burst one of my coworkers striding quickly towards my balcony, saying “You got to see this!”. I follow him out and he tells me to look to my right. On the right was a hotel, not as nice as the Radisson. I look and see… a hotel. I shrug thinking nothing of it until my coworker tells me to take a closer look, which I do.
It took a while to sink in, but finally it did. There in open view with curtains wide open was a topless chick riding this dude hard. I couldn’t believe it. I look slightly away to a couple windows to the left and see a similar sight; only the couple was in a missionary position. I say under my breathe, “You got to be kidding me.” To which my buddy says, I know, there are at least 7 or 8 live action playboy stations going on over there. I take a scan of the windows and yep, there were 7 to 8 live action pornos going down in the hotel next to us, all with lights turned on and curtains wide open.
The next day my buddy and I decide to do some research and find out that the hotel next the Radisson is infamous for being the unofficial HQ for the Wendy girls. The Wendy girls are the residential hookers in Waikiki. We gave them the “Wendy girls” nickname because they seemed to hang out soliciting their services next to the Wendy’s on one of the side streets in Waikiki. Apparently the hotel next to the Radisson rents rooms by the hour.
Now why am I telling this story one might be asking. Well, apparently inadvertent voyeurism seems to follow me in this State. Fast forward several months. I am set up in a nice set of condos. Most Condos on Kauai are duplexes and are built very close together, so close that you can see into other places pretty easily. I bet you all can tell where this is going… Dear Penthouse Letters… so there I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed when something caught my eye in the mirror. The mirror in the upstairs bathroom that I was using has a great angle showing the window to the bedroom of the condo next to me.
In the window was this hot brunette in this skimpy spaghetti strap dress. I’m talking nice view here which was about to get a bit better (and a bit explicit). Two seconds later her man comes from behind and pulls off the dress. Nice to know my female neighbor doesn’t wear a bra nor panties under her dresses. Now, this is all happening withier with curtians wide open and their lights completely on. Anyways, a detailed description of what I saw next would earn this blog an “NC-17” rating. I’ll leave y’all with two words: policeman style. The best was looking down to the street and seeing a shocked woman who was probably just getting back from dinner or something). There she was covering the eyes of a young kid and directing him away from the view. Hilarious, that had to be the funniest thing I’ve seen since arriving here.
Haystack Dictionary Entry #6
Policeman Style – n. A sexual position were the chick gets banged from behind while standing with her hands pressed against the wall and legs spread as if she were getting patted down by a cop.
Now, it should be noted that Kauai is famous for several things, the first being known as the Garden Isle. Kauai is the island where Jurassic Park and the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark were filmed. Kauai also has a lot of chickens and stray cats. But, what Kauai is best known for is bring a perfectly romantic island where newlywed couples come to spend their honeymoons. Which is to say: if you see an attractive woman on this island, chances are you will also see a ring on her finger. I guess you can also say that there is little need for the playboy channel.
posted by Haystack | 11:34 AM
2 Comments:
Wendy girls?? how is it that hookers and dolls share my name?
are there really Wendy's in Hawaii?
That is freaking awesome!
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