I Know How the Rich Stay Thin…

Our first test went off better than expected, so as time honored tradition, we all decided to go out and celebrate. It was decided that we would go to the Grand Hyatt in Poipu (rated in the top 5 Hyatt’s in the world) and go to the Italian Restaurant there. I knew it was going to be an expensive night because 1) its the Hyatt and 2) it’s the Hyatt and 3) it’s the Hyatt. My premonitions were correct. I spent almost $30 on two drinks at the bar while waiting for my coworkers. Granted I over tipped the bartender because I saw some rich bitch fake piece of plastic shit (obviously an “escort”) who was with some jackhole loser who had to pay women to sleep with him give the bartender (and I shit you not) a 25 cent tip. She literally threw a quarter on the bar top as they walked away.

Haystack Dictionary Entry #7

Escort – n. High priced hooker

I left the bar and met up with my coworkers at the restaurant. I so did not belong at that place. The atmosphere was too stuffy, everyone was dressed up and the waiters were snotty. I was sitting there in surfer board shorts and a t-shirt. Class is my middle name! We all spend our lives looking for a place to belong, well… I was able to cross off the rich as a place I do not belong.

We all ordered and when the food came out I made the comment, “I don’t remember ordering appetizers”. I got a nasty look from some in my party as apparently the waiter had brought out our actual meals. I was done in about 2 bites and was still hungry. I guess I was supposed to savor the flavor. My portion of the bill came out to a little over $50. No wonder the rich manage to stay thin, they don’t shit. Some of my coworkers wanted to go back to the bar but I opted out. The night was getting too expensive and I wasn’t getting any pleasure out of the night (to recap, I spent $70 up to that point and had had a small piece of chicken glazed with some unpronounceable sauce, some bread, a coke and two rum n’ cokes).