Lord of the Sock...

Friday started the indoor track season for me. Well not sure much running, but officiating. I officiate at the zoo meets held at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. I call these events zoo meets because we have 8 to 10 schools with teams of anywhere between 50 to 100 kids per teams attending each meet. I am the clerk of course, meaning I get to organize the kids into heats for their races. Last Friday the meet held over 100 races. Needless to say these meets take a while and there are a lot of stress that goes with it. Surprisingly, most of the stress comes from dealing with the coaches and the kids' parents, not necessarily the kids. Recipients of a good skull fucking must feel more comfortable than I do dealing with individuals. The coaches in particular add at least an hour to my meet by confronting me bout how I do this and that. Luckily, I've been doing this for several years now so 1) most of the coaches know me already and 2) I'm starting to look older so they actually listen to me.

Haystack Entry #9

Skull-Fucking - n.

1. When a guy grabs the head of individual who's giving him head and proceeds to thrust as if he is fucking the mouth.

2. N/A (The second definition is too gross even for me to type up)

This past weekend I put in a 12 mile run with the training group that I put together with Jess C. in preparations for the Shamrock Marathon. We ran from Capitol South, across the memorial bridge down to the Mt. Vernon trail, over the Key Bridge and down to Wisconsin Ave… and back. I ran the first 8.5 with Fagnostic (Jonny) before taking off and hammering the last 3.5 or so. Of course I got lost on the way back, but the added mileage doesn't hurt. I am just happy that my leg injury seems to be clearing itself up. Though, today I was a bit sore, but that is more muscle fatigue than anything else.

Speaking of injuries, I am getting a pair of Nike Free 5.0 (Lance Armstrong edition) to help with injury prevention. These shoes are ten ways to awesome. Nike actually did something right for a change. The shoes are designed to allow your feet to act in their natural state, as if your walking/running barefoot. Regular shoes pad your feet and actually weaken them while barefoot training strengthens your feet thus helping prevent lower and upper leg injuries.

Next week, Jess, Jonny and I are planning on doing the Jolly Fat Man charity run sponsored some dude named the Sarge, who has some sort of program, and DC 101. I think I talked Denial High Club (Maize) into signing up as well. The run costs $35, but we get a long sleeve Under Armor T-shirt. Apparently, Flounder from DC 101 will try to run the distance, but chances are, that fat loser will run about 10 feet and then pass out. If I run the entire distance I will put in a total of 14 miles.

In non-running related news, I went to Areola and PPE's Bush Trimming party. One of several XXXmas events I will be attending this year. It is amazing the difference a year makes. Last year I was looking for crap to do, this year, my social calendar overfloweth. I have about four or five more parties to hit this season, not to mention Hash and charity meetings. I love Areola and PPE's party theme. They ask everyone who comes to bring an ornament and of course everyone brings phallic ornaments. Some of the best were the glass ones with condoms in them long with the crotch less panties. I brought as my donation a set of blue balls. Hey, I wanted to bring something that represents me.

Haystack Entry #10

Blue Balls - n. The extreme pain of aching testicles due to lack of sex, unfinished hummers, dry humping and generally not cumin on a regular basis.

Example: See Haystack's sack

Today I spent the day with the Breakfast Club made over at White Kane's. We watched Club Dread and Bad Santa. The movie Club Dread had some funny moments, a couple of tit scenes early plus a lot of blood letting. We also watched some Family Guy and Drawn Together. Wendy Late Nite got a good lesson in self-gratification while watching Drawn Together.

Oh yeah, I also got me a prisoner of war. Bawhawhaw!!! Hey Late Nite, guess what I'm doing to that sock… right… at… this… moment…